My across-the-street neighbor let me borrow her copy! I’ve wanted to read this book for years. I’d heard the news reports and articles about Henrietta and her family’s fight over her cells. But this book went so in depth. I’m glad I read it.
I learned that Henrietta and her family had roots in Clover, Virginia, which is very close to where my in-laws currently live! What a small world!
If you haven’t read this book, I highly recommend you do so. It’s a “typical” non-fiction book, where it can be dry and a bit boring, but author Rebecca Skloot successfully mixes science and Henrietta’s life. I learned so much about Henrietta, her family, and how the scientific community betrayed them all. And her story is not an isolated one, either. It’s an impressive book about the debate on medical ethics, along with our rights regarding our bodies, tissues, cells, and body parts.
I’ve been through every single emotion since yesterday. On June 24, 2022, the United States Supreme Court made a decision that has plunged the nation into darkness, fear, and uncertainty.
I’m rethinking everything about my own life, even though I do want to have children. I’ve always wanted to have children. But now, I’m not sure I want to bring a child or children into this world.
Many of you know that I was raised in the United Methodist Church. Overall, I had a good church experience. I was never abused or traumatized, nothing drastic like that.
At the same time, I was taught to not have sex before marriage. Abortion was frowned upon, but not even really mentioned or discussed.
However, I had to educate myself today on the stance of the church on abortion.
I am staunchly pro-choice. And one singular event made me that way.
I was a freshman in college at Longwood. I don’t remember which class it was, or which semester, but it was either the fall of 2007 or the spring of 2008.
An anti-abortion protest took place on campus, between the Student Union and Stubbs Hall. Our professor asked us to attend, to witness it. We could leave at any time, but we had to check in with our professor before we left. I think I lasted maybe 10-15 minutes tops. I felt like I was going to throw up on the grass.
The protestors had graphic photos on signs, poster board and foam board, with Bible verses. There was a man with one of those portable loudspeakers with a megaphone that made think of the protests of the Vietnam War. They quoted Scripture constantly. Most of these people were adults, older than us. I don’t remember how many there were.
I could barely walk after leaving the Student Union. I don’t remember much of that day after that. I was horrified.
I knew, from that day forward, that I was not going to support any of that.
This was when I was 19 years old, I turned 20 in the summer of 2008. I was very naïve. I was always the good girl, the goody-two-shoes. I wanted to be the perfect child for my parents, the good Christian girl who studied hard and got good grades.
I’m trying to unlearn so many things now. I’m grateful for various counselors and therapists.
That protest altered me forever. I continued to attend church, because that’s what I had always done, but that protest was burned into my memory.
Also in college, I was in a relationship that I thought was love. I was with John from July 2006 through July 2010. July 17th, just a few weeks from now, marks 12 years since I was able to escape from him. Alive.
Now, years later, I’m fully convinced that he wanted to get me pregnant, so that we needed to get married and he could control me forever. Coercive control is real.
I remember looking up Planned Parenthood for the first time in my life, incredibly afraid, sometime in 2009. It was one of the few times that John wasn’t watching me.
I’m fortunate that I didn’t get pregnant then. I refused to have sex with him for the first two years, because I wanted to save it for marriage. I thought we were going to get married. I still remember my mom’s face when I told her that we were thinking about getting married after graduation.
He controlled me sexually. He sexually assaulted me more than once. In early, 2009, he nearly raped me. Thankfully, I was able to get him to listen to the word “No,” finally, after screaming it over and over. Once wasn’t enough.
I’m so glad I was able to get out.
I’m so glad that I have a wonderful man in my life, Al, who supports me (and women) 200 percent.
Moving Forward
I’m ready to fight like hell.
I’m donating to Planned Parenthood.
I’m ready to vote, like tomorrow.
If you’re not registered to vote in the U.S., I beg you to do so!
I’m screaming. It might be from a keyboard right now, but I have a voice. And I’m not afraid anymore.
And to those in Washington, D.C., you just pissed off so many people.
I’m still a Christian. But I will always be pro-choice.
Joseph Rosenbaum (left), and Anthony Huber (right) were shot and killed on August 25, 2020 in the wake of protests in Kenosha, Wisconsin over the shooting of Jacob Blake. Image Credit: NBC News
I cursed out loud earlier today when I caught wind of the Not Guilty verdict for now-18-year-old Kyle Rittenhouse. He was acquitted of all charges today in Kenosha, Wisconsin.
Am I surprised? No.
Am I angry, disappointed, and frustrated? YES.
I’m not going to rehash the case here since it’s been such a high-profile case with tons of media coverage.
However, I’m thinking of the families of Joseph Rosenbaum and Anthony Huber, along with Gaige Grosskreutz today.
As I mulled over my own thoughts and feelings today, I sincerely hope that something good will come out of this. According to NPR (article linked below), even though he was acquitted of criminal charges, it’s likely that he faces one or more civil lawsuits in the very near future.
I also think that Judge Bruce Schroeder should be investigated. His courtroom conduct during this trial has been beyond bizarre to say the least. I’m really curious to see what happens with Judge Schroeder now that a verdict has been reached.
Buckle up, friends. This is going to be a long post. Strong language is used.
Some of you know that I used to buy LuLaRoe (LLR) clothing for two years, from 2017-2019. At the time, I had no clue it was a multi-level marketing company, or MLM.
Now, Amazon Prime Video has released a decent documentary that features the founders, former front office employees, current and former “retailers,” and a few more.
NOTE: I originally set this post to publish on September 20th after having re-watched Episodes 1 and 2, thinking I was going to be able to re-watch all four episodes before the post published automatically. That didn’t happen. It published automatically, and I forgot about it for a few days. I decided to update the scheduling to publish it on September 24th after needing to re-watch Episodes 3 and 4 and make my notes about it. So the updated publishing date is actually September 24th.
Episode 1 – Start Up
Image Credit: LuLaRich
I can’t believe the producers of this documentary were actually able to get DeAnne and Mark Stidham on camera! I’d love to know how that conversation went. Wow!
You are the boss of your business! — Hahahahaha. No, you’re not. MLMs are not legitimate small businesses. Period.
One of the commentators is Robert FitzPatrick – Author, MLM Expert – He was interviewed on Roberta Blevins’s excellent podcast, “Life After MLM.” He’s written two books on MLMs.
Independent fashion retailers — No, actually, you’re an independent contractor. And you have to pay taxes!
$5,000 buy-in (Say WHAT?!?!) Holy moly. This one blew my mind. What the fuck? I could do so much with $5,000 – So much!
Selling breast milk to afford start-up costs — Ummmmm. Yeah. That’s absolutely insane. Nope!
A million dollar company to a billion dollar company. — It grew way too fast, and no one was able to keep up. Plain and simple.
Weight loss surgery — What the actual fuck. No, no, no.
Roberta Blevins — Amazing woman! I have a link to her podcast above! She is awesome!
“Why are the leggings wet? Why does the whole house smell like dead fart leggings?“ — Right on, Roberta! Inferior product doesn’t sell!
“LuLaRoe tricked people into joining a pyramid scheme.“
Mark spouting passages from the Book of Mormon — Yeah. Roberta was right. You are/were in a cult!
LLR logo is a pyramid!
DeAnne’s maiden name is “Startup.” Seriously!
DeAnne is the 10th of 11 children. She has a twin sister, Diane.
Mark is one of four kids. Never wanted to work a job or work for a boss. “When you’re an entrepreneur, there’s no upper limit.”
1988 – DeAnne went to a swap meet in California. Bought four dresses from a man. Started booking dress parties. The first party sold 300 dresses. DeAnne did that for 27 years.
She started making maxi skirts after her daughter asked for one. Sold 20,000 maxi skirts quickly. Mark started in production.
2012 – Brittany Hunter from Utah, came and got skirts out of DeAnne’s van. DeAnne and Mark officially formed LuLaRoe, LLC in 2013. The name comes from three of their granddaughters – Lucy, Lola, and Monroe.
What I really liked about LuLaRich was the group of people they interviewed. When I first saw the trailer, I was pretty sure the producers had only interviewed DeAnne, Mark, and both former and current fashion retailers. It was really nice to see journalists and other experts, too! And home office employees that really spilled the tea.
For those who may not know, MLMs have been around for a good long while. The first one in the United States was Nutrilite in the 1940s, and then they were purchased by Amway. Other MLMs include Tupperware, Mary Kay, Pampered Chef, Scentsy, Herbalife, and Rodan + Fields. But there are a lot more – I remember hearing for either this documentary or Roberta’s podcast that there are about 300 active MLM companies in the United States. And many of them have gone global to other countries. Ewwwwww.
What is really being sold is the opportunity.
You can only go about 13 levels, and you surpass the population of the Earth.
Even though MLMs have been around and growing since the 1940s, it’s really exploded in the last 10 years or so. It’s advertised primarily through social media.
Buy it for wholesale, sell it for retail. It’s not get-rich-quick. —- Yeahhhhhh. Right.
Mark: Underutilized resource of stay-at-home-moms (SAHMs). A lot of people of faith attracted to this business. It’s a pure meritocracy.
Meritocracy: Government or the holding of power by people selected on the basis of their ability.
Sam Schultz, DeAnne’s nephew, joined LLR in 2015 as the events director. Part of the same demographic as the fashion retailers. He hired Mario Lopez to present DeAnne with an award. The photos went viral, and 11,000 people wanted to join the company after that weekend.
2016 – LLR made over $70 million, and expanded to a new home office in Corona, California.
Catastrophic growth, corporate tornado.
“Helping families, blessing lives.” — Wow.
Episode 2 – Show Up
Image Credit: LuLaRich
LLR created a video called “5 Ways to Finance Your Start Up Costs.” The smallest initial package was $5,000. The largest was $11,000!! Examples: Open an interest-free credit card, sell your breast milk.
LLR home office employees! I honestly wasn’t expecting these people to be interviewed, but it was AWESOME. LaShae is my FAVORITE. Worked at Macy’s originally. She met DeAnne in the hallway, she had Chanel on. She marched her to the warehouse and picked out a few pieces because she wasn’t wearing LLR! She was wearing Chanel!!
Derryl Trujillo came to LLR after working for Steve Madden, and reffing and officiating high school volleyball too. He found the ad for data entry and customer service on Craigslist. He was placed in the email department, which was the first line of defense for the company. They tried to be the filter of the building. Mark and DeAnne were seldom around the office, the window seat had to look out for their cars. The family had six Mercedes vehicles. Eight-five to ninety percent (85-90%) of the sixth floor was the family. No one had a clue to run the company of that size. “Data entry” was a Google Doc spreadsheet. Everyone kept editing it, and things would change second to second!
Creating the compensation plan on the fly.
Onboarding team – Fill out your application for LLR, and you were put into the onboarding queue. The team would call these retailers and let them know they were now a part of the family. Mark had a quota. What do you need to onboard 500 people on a Saturday?
These prospective retailers had the LuLaRoe phone number saved as “LuLaRoe – Life Changing Call.”
The number of retailers just grew and grew and grew. By 2016, there were 15,000 retailers! By the end of 2016, there were over 60,000!!
Unicorn hunting – Because you could only pick sizes and the type of clothing, you never knew what prints you were going to get! There were limited prints, too. It was nuts watching the documentary! I participated in multiple Facebook Lives when I bought LLR from three different consultants, so I understand the frenzy!
They talked about the Leadership Bonus Plan. It went from Retailer to Sponsor to Trainer to Coach to Mentor. There was a huge push to recruit and to buy. Recruiting was emphasized. Roberta purchased $78,000 worth of clothing wholesale, and made $83,000 total. And that didn’t include her business expenses. She made $65,000 in bonuses! It’s really easy to see how lucrative this was!
Social media posts were always supposed to be positive, and then attributed to LuLaRoe! DeAnne would become upset if a post didn’t have the #becauseofLuLaRoe hashtag!
And then there were the LuLaRoe cruises! You had to qualify for the cruises, which meant you had to sell $12,000 worth of clothes per month. That’s crazy! But there are/were people who qualified for 5-6 cruises!
Mark and DeAnne would go live online. Every single Tuesday, people would tune in! There was so much idol worship and celebrity.
People started realizing that there was a lot of control. A couple of people started putting the pieces together and thinking, “Oh my God I’m in a cult.”
Enter Becca Peter. She sells washi tape online. For fun, she researches LuLaRoe online. The sales tax was strange, that was her first clue.
LuLaRoe takes advantage of these feelings that women have – They want to be great moms to their kids, but also contribute to the household. It’s the opposite of empowering.
Some of these women started involving their husbands in their LuLaRoe world. And then there’s the “retire your husband” thing. I hate that with a burning passion. It’s another control thing!! Paul said it perfectly – It’s devious and sinister! You’re trapped!
Over 80 percent of people have no one underneath them in MLMs. In 2016, 70 percent of LLR consultants made NO MONEY – ZERO.
If everything is possible, nothing is true. It’s all a farce, a fallacy. The documentary didn’t really discuss the cost-sunk fallacy, but it’s true of all MLMs.
Then there’s the gastric sleeve. DeAnne and her sister, Lynnae, were recruiting women to go to Tijuana, Mexico to get the surgery! The group chat was called “Tijuana Skinny’s.” DeAnne got the surgery and is on video where she lost 72 pounds. Courtney Harwood from North Carolina was looking into it, and ultimately decided on the weight loss balloon surgery in the U.S. – She nearly died! And then she was told that the gastric sleeve was the way to go.
Then the number of retailers went up to 90,000. And if you weren’t making money, it wasn’t the obvious over-saturation of sellers, but it was because “you weren’t working hard enough.” How demoralizing is that!?
Roberta opened a box of inventory in 2016, and realized one item was soaking wet – One pair of leggings. A couple of shipments later, there was a horrible smell from the box. When filing a return request, one of the choices was “Stinky leggings.” Seriously! They were selling moldy leggings, and there was product outside, exposed to the elements. The Mentors went to the home office, and it was met with agitation and being dismissive.
The material was changing! The leggings were arriving with holes, or ripping apart after one hour. The material itself was thinner. The company claimed that they weren’t distributing old product, but they were. The design theft was rampant. They told designers to find a print, change two things, and then voila! It’s a new print!
If you complain or criticize, then you’re the loser. It highlights so many insecurities! Negativity is a big no-no. Use the delete button! People were being scolded like children. For most of the consultants, they were used and betrayed. In my opinion, there was also abuse! There was gaslighting and love bombing.
Episode 4 – Toe Up
In June 2017, LuLaRoe changed their bonus structure. It would be based on sales rather than ordering. The checks were cut in half almost overnight.
Complaints were rolling in, and the question of whether or not LLR was a pyramid scheme kept coming up. And then there was the return policy. The company implemented a 100 percent buyback policy. Consultants would get a full refund, and there was no expiration date.
A bunch of people joined, and then a lot of people left. It was a mass exodus. LLR paid over $100 million during that time. Then they reverted back to the original policy with an additional stipulation, and leaders were not eligible for refunds.
News coverage swelled. Social media groups exploded, such as “LuLaRoe Defective.” And then a few people started talking about hiring a class-action attorney. The reason? Withholding approved refunds is illegal.
The case started as a breach of contract case because they changed the buyback policy almost overnight. They started a website called LLR Class Action. The number of people who contacted the attorney was staggering.
There have been dozen of lawsuits filed against LLR, in multiple states. They were sued for defective leggings, and then copyright infringement. The MyDyer lawsuit basically called Mark and DeAnne outright scammers – One claim is that LLR owes them $49 MILLION DOLLARS. LLR is also tied to many LLCs, in multiple states. Many of them were set up simultaneously in 2017.
Then, in January 2019, a civil lawsuit was filed by the Washington State Attorney General. It alleged that LuLaRoe was operating as a pyramid scheme.
Depositions were taken from DeAnne, Mark, Kenny Brady, and Jordan Brady. They have absolved themselves of all blame and/or responsibility. In my humble opinion, they are all fucking scammers and greedy bastards. There, I said it. All of them are awful people. Mark, especially, reminded me of both of my abusive relationships. It’s all about the money!
Israel follows the U.K. and the U.S. in easing restrictions due to a decrease in needed blood supplies. The U.K. made their changes earlier this year to allow more gay and bisexual men to become donors, and the U.S. updated their screening questions in 2020.
The health history screening in Israel has been updated to use gender-neutral wording, and changing the timeframe from 12 months to three (3) months.
While I personally think that the overall restriction should be dropped entirely, I also understand the continued need to protect blood recipients. I have several gay, lesbian, and bisexual friends who have not donated because of these restrictions. Their argument is that blood products are now tested, and have been for years, for human immunodeficiency virus (HIV) and other life-threatening infectious diseases. While this is true – Testing for HIV with the American Red Cross started in 1985 and has been reviewed and updated since then – I’m honestly not sure this restriction will ever be dropped entirely. It’s very rare that HIV Type 1 or 2 will come up after a single blood donation, but it has happened.
Resources
If you’re interested in giving blood or other blood products (platelets, plasma), visit these websites for more information.
The structure of the event was a conversation between one of the JMU staff members and David Sheff. Before it started, the JMU staff members commented that “Sheff will share about his family’s experience with addiction. He will also report on findings from the years he spent investigating the disease of addiction and America’s drug problem.”
With David, his family’s experience with addiction was with his son, Nic. He was plagued with anxiety and depression. He was eventually diagnosed with bipolar disorder. However, Nic’s first experience with drugs was marijuana at age 11.
Sheff emphasized that parents can’t do it all. They aren’t their child’s social worker, psychologist, counselor, etc. The sooner that parents intervene, the better.
One topic that came up was “tough love,” Sheff and his wife did not go that route with Nic. Sometimes, it’s successful, but a lot of times, it’s not successful.
Family also sometimes adds to the problem.
One of the best things that parents can do is ask for help, whether that be from a counselor, coach, teacher, or doctor. There are a lot of support groups online, too.
What is Addiction?
“Addiction is the only disease that lets our family members hit rock bottom.”
Addiction is a health problem, not a problem of morals. It’s not bad behavior, either.
It’s a brain disease. We don’t want people to get worse.
Sheff said, “I didn’t know rock bottom had a basement.”
Using the term “bottom” is dangerous.
There are alternatives that work.
For healthcare providers – People don’t want to be addicted. We need more people to be trained to recognize the warning signs. And it’s not just a need for healthcare providers. So many others should be trained as well – Coaches, clergy, teachers, counselors, parents, guardians, and more.
How to Help or Get Help
Early warning signs include isolation, sadness, depression.
Don’t talk to your child or children – LISTEN to them.
There’s also a great, significant need for psychological testing in the substance abuse treatment system. For Nic, he had not had any psychological testing in the 10 years that he’d been in treatment, and that was years ago. After he had the proper psychological testing, he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and, more importantly, he hasn’t relapsed since then.
In terms of a healthcare system that treats disease, there simply aren’t enough providers.
“Diseases of despair”
There was a study conducted of pediatricians not too long ago. Nearly 70 percent of them couldn’t recognize a drug problem in a child.
In 2020, 80,000 people died from drug overdose.
Sharp increase: Isolation from lockdown. Also, drugs have normally/usually been social gatherings. Because of the isolation, no one was with them to call 911.
Money has been diverted form support programs to help with COVID-19.
Pharmacological: Brain disease, chemical issues.
Opioid addiction: Meds lower cravings.
Methadone and suboxone – These drugs help people function! It’s almost equivalent to cancer drugs.
Replace shame and guilty with knowledge and hope.
Irresponsible prescribing needs to stop. Educating professionals needs to increase. Not leaving people alone.
Medications must be monitored.
Teenagers: Opioids must commonly found / used in home medicine cabinets.
Identify stressors: It takes a village, support for everyone
Mental illnesses often go undiagnosed or not properly diagnosed, sometimes for years or decades.
Societal problems: No money, no food – Those things, and others, lead to violence. Also consider unemployment and abuse.
Be relentless: Make a million phone calls if you have to.
There have been successful Nurse-Family Partnerships, where a nurse is in consistent contact and communication with a family, offering support and medical assistance.
Teenage pregnancy is a significant factor, too.
A team that works together can help: Write resume, job interviews, proper nutrition, staying at a job.
Support includes making appointments, going to counseling sessions.
There needs to be an increase in and acceptance of harm reduction programs, community resources, needle exchanges.
There’s a JMU graduate who works for a needle exchange program in Tacoma, Washington.
I have not yet read either of Sheff’s books, but I plan to. See the links below for more information.
Resources
FRONTLINE | Chasing Heroin (2016) – Exploring what happens when addiction is treated like a public health issue, not a crime.
My hands are shaking as I write this post. I’m in disbelief. I never thought I would see and hear these words, live-streamed for all the world to witness:
Count I – Second-degree unintentional murder, GUILTY
Count II – Third-degree murder, GUILTY
Count III – Second-degree manslaughter, GUILTY
Derek Chauvin has been found guilty on all charges in the death, the murder, of George Floyd that occurred on May 25, 2020.
I prayed before the verdict was read, feeling tears spring to my eyes. I couldn’t believe it when the first “Guilty” was read, I was stunned. And then I cheered. And then I cried. And I prayed again.
Chauvin’s bond was immediately revoked, and he was taken into custody.
I reflected on this in my post, Hot Topic #30, on June 4, 2020. Thankfully, less than a year later, I’m writing a post in relief and happiness that this verdict was actually reached.
With all that said, there is still more work to be done.
“The healing work begins,” spoken over and over in George Floyd Square in Minneapolis this afternoon.
Al and I watched this biopic on HBO Max. I had been interested in watching it since the first trailer was released in October 2019. We typically enjoy Clint Eastwood movies.
This one hit me a little harder, since it’s based on the real events of the Centennial Park bombing at the 1996 Summer Olympics in Atlanta, Georgia. I was about to turn eight that summer, and I was excited to watch several events on TV. I don’t remember much about the bombing until I was older.
The acting was superb in this film. I loved Kathy Bates as Richard’s mother. Sam Rockwell was an excellent choice for Watson Bryant. And Paul Walter Hauser was exceptional for Richard. The likeness of the actor to the real man was striking. Olivia Wilde was a good choice for Atlanta Journal-Constitution reporter Kathy Scruggs.
I won’t give away major spoilers – I try really hard to not do that in my Commentary posts and Book Reviews. But, this movie had me on the edge of my seat the entire time. I really liked how they used archival footage of news coverage, and if it wasn’t archival, it was a really good reproduction. Al pointed out the differences in aspect ratio.
This movie is a really good example of how damaging the media can be. As someone who studied mass media and journalism in college, it stung a little, but what these people and networks did for a story was flat out wrong. And this film captures those emotions so well, and shows many angles.
If you’re interested in a true-to-life film that captures a variety of perspectives, this is a great movie. It’s available on HBO Max until the end of March.
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