Tag Archives: Issues

08.15.15
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Hot Topic #10: One Woman’s Horrifying Ordeal – This Is Definitely Not Okay

Image Credit: framingham.digication.com

Image Credit: framingham.digication.com

Disclaimer: This post contains strong language and graphic descriptions of human anatomy.

My friend Justin told me about this story earlier this week. He couldn’t believe it, and neither could I. It makes me sick, but I want to bring awareness to this. I’m certain that this isn’t the first time something like this has happened.

Buckle up your fucking seat belts, people. This is one bat-shit crazy story.

Here’s the scenario:

You’re a young woman, driving to the store one night to get medicine for your sick mother. You get pulled over by a local sheriff’s deputy, for allegedly running a stop sign. The male officer says he smells marijuana. You’re handcuffed, placed in the officer’s patrol car, and the officer searches your car.

Then, the situation escalates to where a female officer is called to the scene, called in to perform a body cavity search.

That means the female officer was called to search your vagina for the suspected weed.

Yes, you read that correctly.

Would you believe me if I told you that scenario actually happened?

In the end, after being handcuffed and forced to drop your pants IN PUBLIC for said digital search of your vagina, the officers found just 0.02 ounces of marijuana.

Don’t believe me?

The woman’s name is Charnesia Corley. She’s 21-years-old.

Let’s clarify one thing first: There have been conflicting reports / quotes regarding the type of search that Corley endured. Some have said strip search. Many have said body cavity search.

A body cavity search is either a visual search or a manual internal inspection of body cavities such as for prohibited material (contraband), such as illegal drugs, money, jewelry, or weapons.

Body cavities include the nostrils, ears, mouth, navel, penis or vagina, and rectum.

This is far more invasive than the standard strip search, which “is typically performed on individuals taken into custody, either upon police arrest or incarceration at a jail, prison, or psychiatric hospital.”

Back to Corley now. This woman has been speaking her mind since the incident on June 21st, and rightfully so.

The deputies claim she resisted when the female officer told Corley to pull her pants down. Corley responded to the female deputy that she did not have any underwear on. The deputy replied that didn’t matter, pulled Corley’s pants down for her, and told her to bend over. As the deputy stuck her fingers in Corley’s vagina, Corley attempted to stand upright, claiming that the deputy could not do this. The deputy’s response to that, according to Corley, was that “she [the deputy] could do what she wanted because it was a narcotics search.”

At the end of all of this insanity, Corley was charged with resisting arrest and possession of marijuana.

Hold the phone, stop right there.

First of all, this search was conducted in a gas station parking lot, around 10:30 p.m. on the night of June 21st. I understand the searching of the car; that’s normal, standard procedure. Law enforcement is allowed to conduct this, so long as the driver of the vehicle gives consent to do so.

Calling for backup is also standard procedure. Calling for a female deputy is also standard, when a search of a female suspect is needed.

HOWEVER – Conducting a body cavity search, in public, for anyone to see?! That’s breaking the fucking law. How ironic.

Many of the links I’ve provided have quotes from Corley’s attorney and others:

“… Unconstitutional …”

“… Blatant violation of the Fourth Amendment …”

“… A clear violation of common protocol for the Harris County Sheriff’s Office …”

The search was conducted “without a warrant …”

You’re damn right.

The Fourth Amendment to the United States Constitution states:

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects,[a] against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.[2]

Corley was a victim of unreasonable search and seizure, plain and simple!

Here was one kicker for me:

“To perform a cavity search, deputies should arrest a suspect and take them to an HSCO substation,” the Houston Chronicle noted. “Headquarters downtown even boasts a microwave scanner that can perform the task without intrusion.”

WHAT THE HELL?

This poor woman. Yes, she was arrested. However, she wasn’t transported to a substation. She was clearly, in my mind, assaulted by these deputies.

To me, none of these three deputies for the Harris County Sheriff’s Office gave a fucking shit about this woman. They blatantly ignored her constitutional rights and publicly humiliated her! They should have stopped the search IMMEDIATELY when Corley protested, saying, “Ma’am, you cannot do this.”

Corley is 21. I can tell, from afar, that she has been traumatized by this horrific ordeal.

However, I’m glad she’s said something. She’s been interviewed multiple times by numerous sources. CNN picked it up on Thursday, so it’s gone international now.

And you know what? That’s a good thing. This should be international news.

Multiple lawsuits have been filed. The ACLU is involved.

I hope, for the love of God, that these deputies get fired. I hope that policies and procedures are reviewed, scrutinized, and CHANGED. They need to be reinforced – Drilled into every deputy’s head.

No wonder citizens are having trouble trusting those in law enforcement.

I hope this story doesn’t fade away. I truly hope Corley gets the justice she deserves.

I hope, once all the legal matters are sorted out, that the media covers it again. I hope it goes international again, honestly.

She’s made her voice heard, and now it’s time for her to be supported. It’s beyond time for change.

What do you think? I’d love to hear your comments.

Until the next headline, Laura Beth 🙂

08.06.15
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Hot Topic #9: The Medicaid Gap

“People in Medicaid ought to have access to the same insurance as the rest of the population. If they are segregated, it will be a poor plan for poor people.” ~John Goodman

This post was inspired by a post on the National Public Radio (NPR) Facebook page.

The story was titled, In Florida, A Former Fast-Food Worker Lands In Medicaid Gap.

Cynthia Lewis is caught between a rock and a hard place. Reading her story made me sick. She dropped her Burger King-sponsored insurance because of the cost, but then she got sick. Needing insurance, she thought she could get Obamacare subsidies.

Nope.

Then, she thought she could get Medicaid in Florida.

Not so – She makes too much money.

Also, Florida is one of the states that has not expanded Medicaid.

“… The popular description of Medicaid is that it’s health insurance for the poor.

But in fact it’s more complicated.

To qualify you usually have to also have meet another condition: be pregnant, have a dependent child or a disability. And within each of those groups, there’s even more restrictions.

For example, in a family of four, the most the parents can make to qualify for Medicaid in Florida is just under $8,500. A single parent who makes $6,000 a year and has one kid earns too much to qualify for Medicaid. And if someone is single with no dependent kids and isn’t disabled, no matter how little he or she makes, he or she can’t get Medicaid in the state …”

What the hell?

Depending on where you live, Florida contains some of the priciest real estate. These numbers that were quoted are staggering, and sickening. There are so many that live below the poverty line. And those that are the most vulnerable, especially the children, can’t qualify for insurance coverage from the United States government?

If you divide a $8,500 annual salary by 12, before taxes, that worker only makes $708.33 per month. In probably 99 percent of this great country of ours, a monthly salary like that won’t cover rent. And then after paying the rent/mortgage you still have the bills/utilities, get food, gas for your vehicle or public transportation to get to work, things for your kid(s), medicine, and more.

Cynthia’s story inspired me to do some research.

Medicaid was created fifty years ago this year, in 1965. President Johnson helped enact Medicaid for the poor (and Medicare for the elderly), becoming Title 19 of the Social Security Act. Since then, it’s had a lengthy and complicated history.

Although Medicaid was originally designed as a federal partnership, Florida is one of 21 states that has not expanded Medicaid, after the Supreme Court gave states that option.

I live in Virginia. Virginia is also one of those 21 states that has not expanded Medicaid coverage to low-income adults.

As of May 2015, nearly 960,000 people in Virginia were enrolled in Medicaid and The Children’s Health Insurance Program (CHIP). In comparison, throughout the nation, a total of 71.6 million are currently enrolled in Medicaid and CHIP. Since the July-September 2013 reporting period, over 12.8 million people enrolled in Medicaid and CHIP.

To be eligible for Medicaid and CHIP, it is based on an application and review of modified adjusted gross income (MAGI) levels.

Health insurance is so important, for everyone that you know. It makes me livid that there are so many that are stuck in this Medicaid gap. Most of these people are like Cynthia – They’re caught in the middle between expensive work-sponsored insurance plans and not qualifying for Obamacare subsidies and Medicaid.

I understand the reasoning behind the Supreme Court passing this power to expand Medicaid to the individual states, but, at the same time, that doesn’t solve the problem. Listening to the news reports when Virginia was wavering back and forth between expanding and not, I tried to see all viewpoints. It’s tough though, hearing the governor of your state quote that this expansion will cost the Commonwealth millions of dollars, when there are countless people in the Commonwealth that would greatly benefit from getting Medicaid coverage. It’s a terrible power struggle, and it comes down to one of the biggest and oldest motives – Money.

For more information, check out these links:

Until the next headline, Laura Beth 🙂

07.25.15
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Commentary #9: “15 Women Who Would Like To Remind Everyone That Cosplay Is Not Consent”

This all started with a Buzzfeed article titled “15 Women Who Would Like To Remind Everyone That Cosplay Is Not Consent.”

When Al and I were preparing for Tidewater Comicon in May, I remember asking Al one specific question:

“Do you think I should wear my black leggings with my Ghostbusters costume?”

Tidewater Comicon, May 2015.

Tidewater Comicon, May 2015.

Image Credit: Al Vardaro

Image Credit: Al Vardaro

You see, the reason I asked Al that question is because the Ghostbusters costume I have is “sexy.”

The costume dress is low-cut and the hem stops around my knees.

In answering my question, Al said that I should wear the leggings, to be safe.

When I first read the Buzzfeed article, I was horrified. I’m glad I was sitting down, otherwise I would have fallen down. These women had hear and experience terrible, unwarranted, blatant harassment from men, all at San Diego Comic Con. I felt disgusted. I felt violated for them.

It made me think back to Tidewater CC in May. I’m glad I wore the black leggings. I’m glad Al was with me the entire weekend.

More so, I’m glad that my first cosplay/comicon experience was a positive one.

I recall everyone who wanted to take a picture of me – And there were a few, it was so flattering – ASKED me first. That’s key. I never mind, and I always tried to thank the person for asking. It’s so important.

I put out a call on Facebook for pictures and stories and opinions on this issue. I received several responses! I’ll start with Kristi, one of my friends since childhood:

Bento - Katsucon 2014 Image Credit: Kristi Rae Britt

Bento – Katsucon 2014
Image Credit: Kristi Rae Britt

Pinkie Pie - Animazement 2012 Image Credit: Kristi Rae Britt

Pinkie Pie – Animazement 2012
Image Credit: Kristi Rae Britt

Pinkie Pie - Nekocon 2013 Image Credit: Kristi Rae Britt

Pinkie Pie – Nekocon 2013
Image Credit: Kristi Rae Britt

Vanellope - Possibly Otakon 2014 Image Credit: Kristi Rae Britt

Vanellope – Possibly Otakon 2014
Image Credit: Kristi Rae Britt

Kristi had this to say about cosplay:

“As for the topic, cosplay is an art form that can be enjoyed in many ways. Some people like to create exact replicas of costumes, some more inspiration-based. For me, I like to take characters and really mold them to fit my body type. I like to be creative in what I create and still have the essence of that character visible. Cosplay is for everyone, though there have been times I had to step away because of ridicule. I’ve always struggled with my weight and there were some who flat out told me I had no business dressing up because I was fat and unattractive. Even though I consider myself strong, those comments will cut into someone’s soul and even an art form they once loved would get tossed by the wayside. However, I still dabble from time to time and get a rush from creating something amazing.”

And her thoughts on consent:

“Being part of cosplay since my high school days, I have witnessed much at conventions especially through the years. People will snap a shot without permission and though some would consider that an innocent act it can turn into a hellfire. I’ve seen people appear on slander sites, their picture passed around with horrible strands of ridicule thrown about targeted at them. I’ve seen photos become a tool for sexual harassment and worse. And it’s not just photographs you have to worry about.

There were times where people would touch me and my friends inappropriately without consent and even with a push to tell others about the violations, it would be played off as just something that happens at conventions. From recent conventions I’ve gone to, the community seems to better handle such cases but all-in-all I don’t think we are where we need to be. I don’t care if they are in an outfit showing off a lot of skin. I don’t care if they are fully clothed. Man or woman, I do not care. Consent, in a convention setting and a setting in the world beyond, is key. If you have no consent, don’t do it. Don’t keep pressing buttons, don’t try and sneak it in later, just don’t do it. It only takes one time for someone to toss away something they love for fear of what could happen. Just be accepting, have some respect for everyone, and let’s all be geeks and nerds together without fear.”

Knowing Kristi for many years, reading that she has been harassed because of her struggles with weight made me fucking pissed. I get angry when people around me make snide, unwarranted comments about people who are heavy. I have several friends who continue to struggle with their weight, and it hurts me deeply. Ain’t nobody got time for that!

Our friend Justin has been to many conventions in the last several years, his favorite being Katsucon.

Ellis from Left 4 Dead 2 Image Credit: Justin Hunter Clatterbuck

Ellis from Left 4 Dead 2 (right).
Image Credit: Justin Hunter Clatterbuck

Hunter from Left 4 Dead 2, with L4D2 Boomer cosplayer. This was Justin's first-ever cosplay. Image Credit: Justin Hunter Clatterbuck

Hunter from Left 4 Dead 2 (left), with L4D2 Boomer cosplayer.
This was Justin’s first-ever cosplay.
Image Credit: Justin Hunter Clatterbuck

Maliwan Vault Hunter from Borderlands 2, Katsucon 2015. Image Credit: Justin Hunter Clatterbuck

Maliwan Vault Hunter from Borderlands 2, Katsucon 2015.
Image Credit: Justin Hunter Clatterbuck

His thoughts on cosplay and consent:

“Cosplay is something that should be enjoyed by everyone, and there are people who ruin that by trying to get their pics in when they are not allowed. Apparently no one told them ‘no’ or they don’t think it applies to them. I can’t stand people who try to sneak a pic in of a cosplayer, especially their crotch, chest, or butt, without their consent just because they want it. It’s rude, disrespectful, and just wrong. Cosplayers don’t mind if you want a picture. Just ask and be polite. Hell I’ve had people take many pics of me and they were all polite and asked me first. I try to extend the courtesy to them as well. No one wants to see their friend/spouse/girlfriend or boyfriend get harassed and then lose all spirit in cosplaying. It affects more than just that person, it can affect a group of others. When one person gets harassed, their friends may not want to come back to the convention either. We all have each others back, and people need to learn that. It’s 2015, you are all human beings, act civil, dammit.” 

Justin recently told me the story of what happened at Katsucon 2013. The convention center was hosting two conventions that weekend – Katsucon, and a religious leadership convention for young adults.

The kids attending the leadership convention were in absolute awe of Katsucon and all the activity, especially everyone in cosplay.

However, the adults were far less kind. These adults, put there that weekend to guide and lead these kids in the ways of their religion and better themselves, unfortunately started behaving badly. The adults violated multiple people of their privacy and made astounding comments to the cosplayers, many times in front of the children they were leading. Justin was horrified. When he told me, being a Christian woman, I was astounded.

“If you don’t wanna be stared at, stop dressing the way you do at conventions.”

That’s a quote that’s been seen many times, at different conventions.

Justin said, with complete sarcasm, “You know, it’s totally your fault that guys will come up and snap pics of your boobs and ass without your consent.”

FUCK NO!

Unfortunately, no matter how shitty that statement is true, some do think it’s true.

Here’s some other articles that are publicizing this fight:

All of these articles were either published in 2013 or 2014. This has been a problem for a long time, and I, for one, am very happy to see this fight.

Harassment is ILLEGAL.

Moreover, it’s WRONG.

Despite this negativity, I’m holding my head high. I loved going to Tidewater in May. I cannot wait for the next one. I plan to cosplay as Stargirl (Courtney Whitmore) next year.

I’m happy people are standing up and trying to fight harassment. Unfortunately, people will continue to say their thoughts and opinions, without a filter, and usually without using their brain.

However, I’m a geek and a nerd. I love conventions. I love cosplay. And no brainless, spineless comment will deter me.

Until the next headline, Laura Beth 🙂

07.24.15
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Hot Topic #8: Slaves to Technology

Image Credit: bizgovsoc6.wordpress.com

Image Credit: bizgovsoc6.wordpress.com

“Pretty much 100% of people are texting while driving and they’re killing everyone with their cars. People are willing to risk taking a life and ruining their own because they don’t want to be alone for 5 seconds.”

~Louis C.K.

Technology is an integral part of our lives. At times, it seems like we’re constantly surrounded by it – and it’s hard to get away from it.

I’m completely guilty of this. But I’m trying to be better.

Case in point: I realized, after the fact, of course, of how rude it was to have my laptop while we had company over during the 4th of July weekend. I was listening to the conversation, but I felt terrible afterwards. I also noticed that I wasn’t the only one. The phones were put away, for the most part.

What boggles my mind, is people who don’t communicate by way of conversation anymore.

A few examples:

  • Al and I had lunch at a Mexican restaurant back in June. While we were there, having a wonderful face-to-face conversation, five guys came in and sat a booth across from us. The only time any one of them looked up from their phones was when a server came to address them. They all sat there, staring at their phones, the entire time. I couldn’t stop staring.
  • Our friends Justin and Drew were at a restaurant in Richmond a while back. Two guys sat at the table next to them, diagonal from each other. As soon as their waiter left, these guys pulled out their phones, not making any spoken conversation, no eye contact, nothing. When they were leaving, Justin turned to Drew and said, “Do you know what I saw in there? Slaves to Technology.”

I’ve heard other stories – Some more horrifying than people sitting in a restaurant, not making conversation. I’m talking about texting while driving, and other distractions.

When I Googled “slaves to technology” – This is what I found:

Granted, both of these articles were published in 2013. However, in those two short years, people all around you, day after day, have proved that this is still true!

I couldn’t find the link, but I remember reading an article a week or two ago, a first-hand account of a mom and her husband. The mom, who is a blogger, discovered that her iPad was having a problem one night. Instead of picking up the phone and dialing Apple’s customer support, she and her husband found themselves scrambling, looking for the closest Genius Bar in the closest Apple store to their house. They used all their tech in the house, desperate for a quick solution. Finally, if I remember correctly, after hours of panic, the iPad problem was actually fixable in less than five minutes, with a simple command.

She reflected on that night with horror and disdain – She and her husband were so focused on clamoring for a solution to fix their tech problem, that they forgot about the simple things. They could have left the iPad alone for the night and decided to wait until the next morning to fix it. But, she said that this insistence on fixing this instrument RIGHT THEN was further proof of their addiction to technology.

I found the Louis C.K. quote in one of the articles I mentioned earlier. It’s so true. We are afraid of being alone.

Granted, I am guilty of having sent texts in the car before. But now, I have my phones either in my purse in my backseat, or in my passenger seat where they’re out of my reach. I don’t text anymore, unless I’m at a complete stop at a stoplight, and that’s only when I respond to someone else’s text. I try really hard not to pick it up AT ALL while driving. The only people I will normally answer a call from in the car is Al, either one of my parents, or if my bosses are calling. My dad takes it a step further, he always asks me if I’m eating, drinking something, or driving. If I answer “yes” to any of those three, he’ll always say to call back when I’m safe.

I actually like the solitude of being alone in my car. Sure, traffic can be terrible on my drives to and from work, but that’s what the radio and CDs are for. I’ve learned so much from listening to NPR more frequently, for example. I’ve relished in hearing brand-new songs on the radio stations more than once. I’m also one of those people that drum on the steering wheel and bob my head when I hear a favorite song, while belting it out at the top of my lungs. Knowing that Al and I are getting married in less than four months (!!) and we do plan on having children down the road (no pun intended), I know that my days of solitude in my Camry are numbered.

For me, I try not to be bound to technology. Part of it is because I work on a computer for my job – It is a constant in my career. Sure, I enjoy having an iPhone. Sure, I enjoy having a laptop. I have a Nook tablet as well.

There are days where I leave work and go to Al’s, and I just do not want to stare at another fucking screen. We normally eat dinner in front of the TV, and there are times where I just look at my food or want to talk to Al, more than looking at another damn screen.

I do have diagnosed eye strain – It’s why I can’t wear my contact lenses to work anymore, I have to use my glasses. And when I do wear my contact lenses, I have to be very careful with my screen time. My eyes do actually go into overload mode when I look at too many screens, and subsequently, my brain gets overloaded too.

But, beyond the eye strain, I think my brain craves non-tech things, like writing and reading. I love that Al gave me the tablet for my birthday several years ago, but I can’t read books on it. I use it for games and fashion magazines mostly, plus having a really convenient, lightweight way to access Wi-Fi, rather than lugging my laptop around. However, books will always be ink and paper for me, always. And as much as I like typing and writing on the computer, I enjoy writing in cursive, and do that every chance I can get.

I love disconnecting from the world too. Last summer, I went on a mission trip to North Carolina with my church. I left my iPhone at home and went seven hours west to towns that had minimal cell service. For a full seven days! It was WONDERFUL!

And I plan to do that again when I’m on my honeymoon in November – And I can’t wait!

I leave you with an article, aptly titled How To Not Be A Slave To Technology.

As for me, this weekend, I plan to disconnect again. I plan to turn off my iPhone and leave it at home, and head up to Doswell to thoroughly enjoy Kings Dominion with Al and amazing friends Katie, Brian, Mike, Justin, and Heaven. SO FUCKING STOKED!

Until the next headline, Laura Beth 🙂

07.14.15
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Writing Prompt #6: Skinning Humanity

“We are all brothers under the skin – and I, for one, would be willing to skin humanity to prove it.”

-Ayn Rand

I’ve mulled over this topic for a while now. There are so many facets to this one.

Here’s a few questions to ponder:

  • How do you see yourself?
  • How do you see others?
  • How are you acting and showing yourself to others?

I put up a picture of a being that is half-angel, half-demon. I believe that there are angels and demons within all of us, and then those angels and demons also themselves known, through our words and actions.

Also, Ayn Rand is a bad-ass. I read several of her books in high school and college (Anthem, The Fountainhead, Atlas Shrugged). I plan to re-read them, as I know my perceptions have shifted in becoming an adult. Check her out. I could fill a blog post and then some about her, her life, and her works.

This post was partially inspired by a conversation between my friend Justin and I.

In the fall of 2010, we originally met as classmates in Halliday’s Basic Broadcasting class. I’ll admit, at first, Justin intimidated me. He towered over me, plus he was taller than everyone else, with the exception of the two basketball players in the class.

He normally dressed in all black, didn’t say much to anyone, and appeared “emo” to me.

But I didn’t know him then.

On the flip side, Justin thought I was a super energetic sorority girl who took notes constantly. I mean, I literally wrote down almost everything that either Halliday said, or what was on his PowerPoints. Yeah, I was that kid.

Justin said, “Do not judge the holy man to be 100 percent pure, and do not judge the kid all in black of being incapable of giving and feeling love.”

In short, this goes back to the old saying, “Don’t judge a book by its cover.”

Because of this conversation, I started looking at the people around me a bit differently.

I personally try, with all my might, to not judge anyone. I want to make an honest effort to get to know people first, before deciding if I like them or not.

For the most part, I get along with almost everyone. I kill with kindness, so to speak. However, there are some people, and some character traits, that just bug the hell out of me and drive me crazy. So, my resolve is to avoid these people and character traits as much as I can. If there are instances where I can’t avoid them, I just smile, nod, and get through it. And if it becomes unbearable or massively uncomfortable, I cut them out of my life. It’s happened before, and it will probably happen some more in the future. It’s really freeing, actually.

With Justin, I may have been intimidated at first, but that didn’t last long. We ended up in group projects for both of Halliday’s Broadcasting classes, and we progressed from classmates to being friends. Now, four years later, we’re close friends and enjoy meeting up as often as possible with our significant others.

Justin also shared this system he had come up with a while ago, called “The Caste of 4 Wings.”

“What you wear and how you act around strangers and friends are key factors in how your wings will be seen”

There are four types of wings that people can possess:

  1. White Angel Wings: People who are seen by society and others to be good, caring, and warm people. In truth they are that. They help out others, volunteer, do good work for others.
  2. Black Demon Wings: People who are seen as no good and untrustworthy, evil and vile. They live up to that, as they abuse people, murder, rob, treat others like shit.
  3. Black Angel Wings: Wings wore by people who are seen as good people and someone you can trust but in reality they are the opposite. Can manipulate people, use the trust of others and exploit it for their own personal gain. How they are seen by others is not who they really are.
  4. White Demon Wings: Wings wore by people deemed by society as a menace, like outsiders or loners who people think don’t do anything really. In reality they just want to love people, can perhaps be hurt and want others to say “It’s okay.” and despite what others see them as, their true friends know the goodness, love, and kindness in their hearts.

I was absolutely fascinated as Justin was explaining this to me.

Then it shifted to what wings we thought we had. For me, I thought it over for a while.

In the past, I’ve been characterized as having White Angel Wings – Being the teacher’s pet, being a “goody two-shoes,” volunteering my time and talents, always willing to sign up, step up, and help anyone.

And over the years, that hasn’t really changed, I don’t think. I’ve always tried to be warm, caring, and a good person overall. However, I’m certainly not perfect, nor do I want to be. So I may have White Angel Wings, but I try to be as humble and down-to-earth as possible.

Justin considers himself to have White Demon Wings. Once I read the explanation, it made perfect sense. This is how I saw him when we first met at Longwood. I personally never saw him as a “menace,” but I originally thought he was a loner and kept to himself. I knew he loved video games. I wasn’t sure about him and his personality, at first.

In reality, he’s a wonderful guy, with such a big heart. I’ve enjoyed getting to know him better over the last few years, and he’s a great friend. I’m so happy that he’s found love with his girlfriend Heaven. He enjoys his solitude and he’s definitely a gamer, but those are not bad things. He likes to plan get-togethers with our group of six friends (Al, me, Justin, Heaven, Drew, and Katie). We’re stoked about going to Kings Dominion in a week and a half with Al, Heaven, Katie, and our friends Brian and Mike.

As I thought about “The Caste of 4 Wings,” I realized there are people that I have encountered in my 26 years on this Earth who have all four types of wings. I certainly prefer to interact with the ones that have White Angel Wings and White Demon Wings. However, I’ve acknowledged that a select few that I’ve known have had Black Angel Wings and Black Demon Wings. Fortunately, most of them have faded from my life, at this point. There are a few that are manipulators that I have to deal with and have dealt with, but as long as I’m able to take them in small doses, I’m good.

These wings can be applied to everyone. I’ve thought about those who have made headlines recently, from the President, to Dylann Roof, to the Pope, to the people who report the news.

  • President Obama: Due to the nature of his position, as a politician in the U.S. and now the Commander-in-Chief, I would classify him as having Black Angel Wings, from my perspective. However, there are others that probably perceive him as having Black Demon Wings. In fact, there are probably people in this country that have thought of him as having all four kinds of wings, at certain points in his career.
  • Dylann Roof: As the suspected shooter of nine black people in a South Carolina church, this guy has Black Demon Wings, all the way. I can’t see it another way.
  • Pope Francis: Like the President, I’m sure people have thought of the Pope as having different kinds of wings. For me, I’m happy that he has been proactive on so many issues. Because of that, and the appearance of a warm, caring nature for everyone, I would give him White Angel Wings.
  • News Anchors/Reporters: As a mass media major in college, I definitely got an education on what news reporters and anchors do and how the broadcasting realm works. Their images are projected for all to see, but we don’t really see them off-camera. We don’t know who they really are when the camera turns off. Again, people have probably given them all four types of wings at some point. It’s hard to pinpoint, but for me, I can see them having Black Angel Wings or White Demon Wings, and in rare instances, White Angel Wings.

Keep in mind, these are just examples. And these are strictly my thoughts and opinions.

What do you think?

I’m glad Justin and I had this conversation. It really has changed my perspective on people, both in my life and those that I have never met.

I really like “The Caste of 4 Wings,” and I’m happy Justin shared it with me. Now I find myself thinking of people in terms of what wings I think they have, and then setting out to see if my perceptions are really true, or not. It’s fascinating to think about. This is something that will stick with me forever.

I encourage you to try it for yourself. Think about the wings you think you have, and then the wings of people around you. You might surprise yourself. I know it surprised me.

Until the next headline, Laura Beth 🙂

07.10.15
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Commentary #8: “Quiverfull of Shit: A Guide to the Duggar’s Scary Brand of Christianity”

Disclaimer: This post contains strong language.

Image Credit: quotesabouteducation.net

Image Credit: quotesabouteducation.net

As many of you know, I follow my friend Megan’s blog, Freckled Italian, religiously. No pun intended.

I enjoy her posts immensely, and quite often, I’m inspired to write my own posts by reading hers.

Example – I was inspired by her Friday, June 26th post.

She wrote:

To Read:

Like Megan, I also don’t understand how the Duggars are so popular still!

When the Duggars first emerged on the scene, I was initially fascinated and intrigued, like many others. My parents don’t have cable TV, so I have not been a regular consumer of their show on TLC, now titled “19 Kids and Counting.” But I’m amazed that MILLIONS of people watch the show! However, with their many interviews, I have learned more than my fair share about them.

My interest peaked again when their 19th child was born prematurely. I was a preemie myself, so I felt a connection there.

But now, with the latest revelations of their oldest son’s alleged molestation, including two of his own sisters, I have absolutely zero interest in their lives anymore. I shake my head at the headlines. I’m angry. However, I wasn’t really surprised though. Molestation is often kept secret, by victims in particular, for years and years. It’s fucking terrible. I understand secrecy to an extent, but it is a terrible crime. It’s a stigma that needs to be changed. Not speaking up can cause these predators to continue their path of destroying innocence for years on end.

Personally, I was starting to get turned off by the family a few years ago, when two of the daughters entered courtship, married, almost immediately became pregnant, and declared that they wanted to have as many children as God willed them.

The courtship part was interesting to learn about, but it’s heavily supervised by the parents, and there are no individual dates. Every facet of communication is under the watch of the parents. Each single text is copied to the parents! Wow. Many children in courtship also save their first kiss for their wedding day.

… Nope, that’s not my thing!

Although I am a Christian, I don’t believe in their views of so-called Christianity. For me, I believe the couple is in complete control of adding children to their family – God is not in control in this instance. After all, the couple is having the sex to conceive, or saving the money for the adoption, or saving the money for fertility treatments, or making the decision to not have any children at all.

So, this article really intrigued me. As soon as I started reading, however, I started to feel my stomach turn. I felt so uncomfortable. I remember asking myself, just a few sentences in, “Wow, they really believe all of this?”

There are your Christians (a.k.a., me). Then there are your evangelical Christians. But the Duggars – The Duggars have gone a step further than that, which I never imagined:

“… they’re followers of a particularly scary fundamentalist sect known as the Quiverfull movement, which adheres to a deeply patriarchal and highly authoritarian set of beliefs about gender and culture.”

Wait … What?

I had no idea.

I read further, feeling my gut twist a little tighter with every word.

Birth control is evil?

Building a “pint-size fundamentalist Christian army”?

Whoa, baby. No pun intended.

That’s a little crazy.

And there’s more.

If you or your spouse happens to be infertile, and you’re part of the Quiverfull movement, well, apparently you’re shit out of luck. Apparently, God doesn’t believe in fertility treatments. So, even if you desperately want children – or God is telling you that you want X number of children, so sorry.

Also, this article doesn’t breathe a word about adoption, or foster care, or anything like that. Interesting.

“Women must obey the orders of men, in all cases”

Um, no. Hell no. Fuck no! Where are we, the 20th century, or earlier?!

I get it, in a way. Women have been submissive to their husbands – In past years. I’m sure there are some women, Candace Cameron Bure being a famous example, who prefer/enjoy being submissive.

For me, however, I believe that my future marriage is a partnership between Al and I. I try to treat Al as equally as possible, knowing that Al tries to do the same for me. When it comes to raising our future children, I would ideally like to stay home with them, if I’m able to. But, if not, I feel confident that I will be happy as a working mom as well. I will be happy as a wife to Al, and a mother to our future children, period.

“Premarital sex is sinful, and women are temptresses – who must also be sexually available to their husbands”

According to the article, this Quiverfull culture/movement, women (and men) have a lot of fucking restrictions.

I realize that there are a few denominations of Christianity that frown upon dancing, banning it even. However, with Quiverfull, women aren’t allowed to show their shoulders (Apparently that has caused their brothers in Christ to “stumble”), and then they can’t dance, AND they can’t front-hug their siblings.

What the fuck?

This makes me feel like I’m back in high school, remembering the strict dress code for school days, and then remembering the rules in place for prom and other dances. Wow!

In terms of sex, the only type allowed is “heterosexual, vaginal sex between a biological male and a biological female … and it can occur only in the bonds of holy matrimony with the intent of procreation.”

I get that, in a way. Growing up as a Christian in the United Methodist Church, I learned that sex before marriage was very much frowned upon, and if we did so, we were sinners and needed to ask God for forgiveness.

However, now, as an adult, I don’t necessarily believe that to be so bad. Sex is natural, between two people that love each other and want to express that to each other. In my opinion, as long as you’re not fucking around with multiple partners, willy-nilly, irresponsibly (i.e., without protection, you’re using your body for prostitution, etc.), I think it’s okay. As long as you love the person that you are in a committed relationship with, and you two are safe about it, I think premarital sex is okay.

“Parents control their children’s lives”

I agree with this, to an extent. As a parent, you are responsible for EVERYTHING your child does, from the day they are born until the day they turn 18. For 18 years, YOU are on the hook for your child. There are so many stories I hear from people I know, and in the media, about how the parents need to be schooled in basic parenting, or not have kids at all.

All right – Moving on …

What I don’t agree with is certain suffocating limitations in Quiverfull.

Again, no dancing. This also means no music that could cause you to dance – Meaning you’re limited to hymns and classical music. I like hymns and classical music, but if those were my only options, I think I’d prefer silence at some point. Dancing has so many benefits too – It’s exercise, it’s expression, it helps relieve stress, and so on.

Reading is restricted to “approved Christian books.” This saddens me, greatly. I love to read. I’ve learned so much about myself, about the world around me, and about my love of writing because of books. I can’t imagine not being able to go to the library as a child, to explore the wonder of getting any book I wanted, over and over. I do read some Christian books and literature, but I relish in having a choice to do so.

I do agree with controlling Internet access. That’s important, especially in today’s world of sextortion, online predators, and more. For me, my kids will not have a smartphone until the earn the money to get one, and then Mom and Dad will have strict limits on everything until their 18th birthday. My job, until they’re 18, is to protect them. I want to teach them about the bad things in this world, and then help protect my kids from it as much as possible. My kids may hate me for years on end, but my job is to be their parent, not their friend. I cannot emphasize that enough!

I don’t agree with not having a television. This is something that will be limited in my house when it comes to my kids, but it will be there. I want them to get away from the electronic devices and, you know, go outside and play. It’s how I grew up. I got kicked out of the TV room and off the computer, and sent outside. My kids will be no different.

“Families must be self-sufficient – no schools and no government assistance, no matter how many kids”

This fascinated me. Remember my recent post on welfare?

For the most part, I look at parents who choose to homeschool their children, and I think it’s amazing. I personally don’t think I could do that, ever. The best part is that we have a choice to do that. While I have a lot of beef about our education system in the U.S., I believe I got a great education in the Chesapeake public school system, and having the opportunity to be in the International Baccalaureate (IB) program in my high school was a great challenge.

However, Quiverfulls are basically mandated to live debt-free and without government assistance. Sorry – I have no idea how that’s even possible! There are so many in this country who are drowning in debt – Particularly student loan debt (It’s the fastest-growing kind, far exceeding mortgages, car loans, and credit card debt). It’s absolutely fucking terrible, it’s absurd. Many of these people will die with this debt. And that’s a damn shame!

The end of the article was also interesting, titled “The Human Toll of Quiverfull.”

This quote struck me: “It’s easy to laugh at the retrograde and irrational ideas of the Quiverfull adherents, but as Josh Duggar, Bill Gothard, and Doug Phillips have shown, the movement’s anti-feminism and authoritarianism can very easily elide, excuse, and hide abusive behavior.”

Yes, these ideas are definitely irrational. They’re hard to comprehend. After reading this article a full four times, I still have trouble wrapping my head around it all.

However, there is no excuse for abusive behavior. Zero, zilch, nada!! As a survivor of emotional, mental, and physical abuse, it makes me bristle to hear of women and men being abused, and then getting sucked back in because of broken promises. It makes me sick. But, at the same time, I’m grateful that I finally saw the light and realized I wasn’t happy, that I had lost myself, and took the steps to finally break up with John Ivey on Saturday, July 17, 2010.

I’m recently started to see a counselor to address my struggles with anxiety, recent panic attacks, and other issues that I’ve had and developed, partly because of what I endured in my four-year relationship with John. I want to overcome these issues, as much as I can, before I start a new chapter with Al when we marry on November 14th.

I want to become a better Laura Beth – A better woman, a better Christian, a better daughter, a better fiance and future wife to Al, and a better friend. I’m doing this for myself. And I feel so good!

Until the next headline, Laura Beth 🙂

06.30.15
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Hot Topic #7: Welfare

Image Credit: Lars Larson

Image Credit: Lars Larson

“We should measure welfare’s success by how many people leave welfare, not by how many are added.” ~Ronald Reagan

That photo above?

Originally posted May 30th

At last count:

  • 70,000+ likes
  • 492,500 shares, and counting
  • Literally countless comments

I received quite an education when I found this and shared it on Facebook about two weeks ago.

It inspired me to take the comments that were posted on Facebook, and research welfare on my own.

First, the basic definition of welfare:

  • Welfare is the provision of a minimal level of well-being and social support for all citizens, sometimes referred to as public aid.

This link gives information about the U.S. welfare system.

The Heritage Foundation is another interesting resource about welfare, welfare spending, and welfare reform.

Back in 2012, The Weekly Standard published an article titled “Over 100 Million Now Receiving Federal Welfare.”

Note – This count of Americans did not include those receiving Social Security or Medicare.

In my opinion, because this chart was released by the Republican side of the Senate Budget Committee, it’s slightly biased.

However, in any case, the numbers are striking. The chart started in the first quarter of 2009, where over 97 million Americans were receiving means-tested welfare. The chart ends in the second quarter of 2011, where over 107 million Americans were receiving the same kind of welfare. Keep in mind, this chart encompasses all of 2009, all of 2010, and the first half of 2011, when the country was plunged deep into the “Great Recession.”

The article goes on to indicate that food stamps and Medicaid were the two highest programs of enrollment.

Unfortunately, I don’t think those numbers have changed for the better.

As for the picture in the beginning of this post, I was glad to get both sides of the story.

Arguing in favor of making drug testing mandatory in all 50 states when applying for welfare, it makes sense, in a way. Most employers nowadays require hired employees to complete a drug test before starting work, to comply with employees being alcohol- and drug-free in the workplace.

Applying it to welfare candidates makes sense – ALMOST.

The comments I got on this photo were how mandating drug tests could jeopardize these people greatly. I get that, I really do. If you’re applying for welfare and you’re required to get a drug test, that adds pressure. And if you’re already on drugs, that added pressure doesn’t help at all.

Another point that was made was about the money involved. Apparently those states – Florida, Kentucky, and Missouri – have LOST money because of mandating these drug tests. If a person applying for welfare passes the drug test, then the state gives them the money for the drug test, along with starting their welfare benefits.

It was fascinating to read the comments – It certainly humbled this writer!

Welfare has helped many in this country, no doubt, for many years. Food stamps keep adults and children from going completely hungry. Medicaid gives struggling parents and children the access to the healthcare facilities that they simply can’t access without assistance. And there are other programs too.

But what we always hear about is those who use and abuse the system, such as women or parents who keep having children because they know that their welfare benefits will increase with each child. That kind of thing. Apparently these women have been dubbed “Welfare Queens.”

That makes me sick.

My argument, when originally sharing this photo, was that there needed to be more regulations to the welfare system. More crackdowns. More restrictions. Because of the comments that were made, I now know that’s not the case.

These numbers should certainly be tracked and analyzed, and I think that can be improved and publicized better. Investigations should be done into suspected cases of abuse, and it should be consistent.

However, welfare is keeping many afloat.

I just wish these people could/would eventually get off welfare and make their lives even better … But that’s another story.

Until the next headline, Laura Beth 🙂

06.25.15
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Commentary #7: “We Tried On Victoria’s Secret Bathing Suits And This Is What Happened”

Image Credit: Buzzfeed

Image Credit: Buzzfeed

Buzzfeed has its hits and its misses.

This one, though – A huge hit!

Check it out – We Tried On Victoria’s Secret Bathing Suits And This Is What Happened

I shared this post earlier this week, almost as soon as I saw it on my Facebook Newsfeed. Once I shared it, I got an almost immediate response, with multiple likes and several comments, plus a few shares.

Body image, particularly for women, has been a flaming hot topic for many, many years. More recently, it’s been spotlighted with stories like Jennie Runk, Tess Holliday, and others.

In addition, bathing suits (in general) and Victoria’s Secret have also been under the microscope for a good while.

I was so impressed with these six women on the Buzzfeed staff. They put themselves out there, for literally the world to see, in one of the most vulnerable ways possible.

However, I say that last sentence with a challenge. It shouldn’t make anyone feel vulnerable to be in a bathing suit. Period. And notice that I said ANYONE. This doesn’t just apply to girls and women. We can’t forget about the boys and men, either.

We are a very self-conscious society. Yes, there are and there have been movements to make women and girls and others feel more empowered, stronger, more comfortable in their skin, and so on. I think that’s great. However, these movements, like YouTube videos, tend to go viral for a while, and then fade.

With that said, there are several empowering campaigns that I follow on Facebook that I think are awesome:

These pages go beyond body image – They work to promote confidence, strength, smarts, and so many other positive things! Check them out – I love them.

But over here, behind my laptop, I’m standing up with my head held high. I have struggled with body issues in the past. But no more.

Now, after many years of putting myself down and feeling sorry for myself, I am finally looking at my five-foot-six, 132-pound frame, every single morning, with PRIDE. I feel happy to look at myself in the mirror. I smile.

I’m so excited to go to Kings Dominion next month with Al and a group of our closest friends. I’m excited to wear a tank top and shorts. I’m excited to wear a bikini to the newly-expanded water park.

I do own some more conservative swimsuits – A tankini, and two one-pieces – but I wear those with equal pride. I’m excited to celebrate summer and showcase my body.

In fact, I may actually buy one of the swimsuits featured in the photo shoot. This is one of the Buzzfeed staff:

Image Credit: Buzzfeed

Image Credit: Buzzfeed

That – Wow. That photo is sexy to me. It shows strength! I love the design and the colors too.

Best part – It’s REAL. It wasn’t Photoshopped or re-touched.

That looks better than anything else I’ve seen.

Bottom line: Not all swimsuits have to be bikinis to be sexy.

Image Credit: Buzzfeed

Image Credit: Buzzfeed

The six women at the top of the photo look healthy, happy, and enthusiastic. And I love it!

I cannot wait to rock my swimsuits with just as much happiness and pride!

Until the next headline, Laura Beth 🙂

06.23.15
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Commentary #6: The Size of the Ring (Shouldn’t Fucking Matter)

Image Credit: betterinbulk.net

Image Credit: betterinbulk.net

Disclaimer: This post contains strong language.

This was recently brought to my attention, via Facebook:

The original caption with the photo reads: “Let me hear your honest thoughts ladies.” This was originally posted in December 2014.

At that time, this photo got 152,000+ likes, 66,000+ comments, and 17,000+ shares.

Amid those 66,000+ comments – I know it’s hard to read – the comment directly underneath the photo reads:

“dear greedy cunts, if you will dump a man pouring his heart out to you because he can’t afford a rock as big as your overinflated ego please reevaluate your life and maybe lay off the MTV.”

When The Tasteless Gentleman re-posted it on January 6th, their caption was:

“this shouldn’t even be a question.”

Their post garnered almost 27,000 likes, 27,300+ shares, and literally countless comments.

A friend put it this way:

“and I think it’s fucking stupid really. If the man truly loves you and can only afford a small ring at the moment, and you say, ‘That’s it?’, then honey you saying no will be the best thing you ever did for him, cuz [sic] clearly you don’t deserve him.”

Precisely! I don’t think I could have said it better.

I couldn’t agree more.

However, with that said, I will also share my honest thoughts.

I mean, this is a “commentary” post, after all.

Engagement rings, in general, are wonderful. They’re beautiful. They’re unique to each and every girl/woman. I’ve seen many beautiful rings on the left hands of many friends, family members, and other women in my life.

However, did you know that the “tradition” of the diamond engagement ring is actually relatively new? Because of  the De Beers company and their crafty ad agency, in the early 1900s, they created a brilliant marketing campaign aimed at men in the U.S. – Diamonds are valuable, and giving your woman a beautiful diamond ring matters.

It was fascinating to learn about – Here’s one blog post about it.

With all that said, I don’t believe that it’s necessary to give your girl/woman an engagement ring.

Prime example: Al’s mom.

When Al’s parents decided to get married years ago, Al’s mom told his dad that she didn’t want a ring – They didn’t have a lot of money to begin with. What she really wanted, more than anything in this world, was this particular set of pots and pans. So that’s what Al’s dad did!

I was shocked when she first told me that story several years ago, but I love it. It is so unique! She’s not a jewelry person, anyway!

Also, to the women who value the ring and the size of said ring over the main point … Fuck off. Fuck you. That’s ridiculous. That is pure bullshit. I give you both my middle fingers.

That, right there, is basically the definition of being materialistic. And that is incredibly sad.

The main point, of course, is seeing your man (You know, that one, the one you’ve presumably devoted a good bit of your time/love/energy/effort to, whether it be a few months or several years or maybe you even had a child with him before this moment) down on one knee, asking you one of the biggest questions EVER.

If you’re that superficial, to claim that the size of the ring matters MORE than your man AND his love for you … What the hell.

You don’t deserve him. You don’t deserve that ring. You don’t deserve to be involved with him for one more second.

You (should) know how the song goes: “Can’t buy me love …”

I absolutely adore my engagement ring. Al let me pick out what I wanted, even after I offered to him, came right out and told him that I put my full trust in him to pick one out for me.

I look at it – Find myself/ catch myself staring at it, a lot – falling more in love with it, and the man who gave it to me, every single day.

Photo Credit: Al Vardaro

Photo Credit: Al Vardaro

At the same time, I’ve heard several stories of men who want to give their wives better rings. Someone I know wants to give his wife a bigger, better ring for their 10-year anniversary, a few years from now. To me, it’s so sweet and thoughtful that he wants to basically re-propose to her, knowing that the ring he had to originally proposed marriage was bought with limited money. Now, years later, they’ve grown in their careers to have better things. That’s awesome to me, and it shows how much he loves her and wants to give her what she deserves, in his mind.

But back to the original point. The same friend asked me what I would do if Al had held up a box with a ring like in the first picture – Would I say yes?

My answer:

“Absolutely. Without question, without hesitation.”

It’s not about the ring, not at all. It’s because I love Al. He is amazing. He is a wonderful man, a man that I have dreamed of marrying, and having children with, and building a life together for several years now. I’m beyond excited to know that in less than five months, that dream will fucking finally become reality. And I can’t fucking wait. The ring on my left hand is a symbol of our love together, but I know, 100 percent, that I would be just as much in love with him and excited to marry him on November 14th if it were smaller. I would never turn him down, ever.

Even if Al couldn’t have afforded a ring at the time he wanted to propose, I still would have said yes, no matter what. Without question, without hesitation.

Until the next headline, Laura Beth 🙂

06.20.15
by

Hot Topic #6: Homelessness

Image Credit: vibewirechangemedia.com

Image Credit: vibewirechangemedia.com

We all see it, probably every single day – Someone at an intersection or some other place, aiming for high visibility from cars – People with cardboard signs, asking for help.

HOMELESS

NEED FOOD

HUNGRY

VET

NEED HELP

GOD BLESS

I’ve always been torn when I see one of these people with their signs.

When I was younger, on a trip to New York City, my parents and I were visiting the hospital where I was born. Outside the entrance, there was this black woman, a little older, thin and frail, literally begging for people to help her. It was around my birthday, in early August, so it was definitely hot and humid that day too.

As a child/early teenager (I think I was in middle school at the time), I asked my mom if we could give this poor woman, clearly suffering, money or buy her some food. I remember Mom getting a little upset, frustrated, and telling me no, that we didn’t know if she was on drugs, that kind of thing.

From then on, I couldn’t stop staring. It broke my heart.

That memory has stuck with me for all these years. As I’ve gotten older, however, I’ve learned that there are so many ways to help others who are in need.

I wanted to share with you a few ways, and tell you a few stories along the way.

First up – Blankets For The Homeless, or BFTH for short.

Image Credit: Blankets for the Homeless Hampton Roads

Image Credit: Blankets for the Homeless Hampton Roads

This is Mariah. She’s now 21 years old. And she’s making a massive difference.

Her story is amazing. She was born and abandoned on Christmas Eve. She was fostered, then adopted. She was homeless in the first hours of her life, and now she’s made it her mission to help those who are helpless and less fortunate.

BFTH is three, almost four years young now, but to the Hampton Roads area, it’s been a massive blessing since 2011.

They have a large following on Facebook – Blankets for the Homeless Hampton Roads. I love seeing the photos of donations, as well as distributions. Everyone’s smiling.

They are officially a 501c3 non-profit. Their mission: “Providing blankets, coats, hoodies, JEANS, clothes, hats, gloves, shoes, back packs, tents, tarps, toiletries, etc., & lunches to the homeless.”

Many of you who read the blog know that I follow Freckled Italian, Megan’s blog, obsessively. I love her work!

One of her posts that struck me recently was titled “On Cleaning Out My Closet.” Check it out!

Reading, and re-reading, that post from Megan, inspired me to clean out my OWN closet. I try to clean out my closet around every six months – Basically every spring/summer and then again in the fall/winter. I normally gather everything up and put it in bags and take it to the local Goodwill near my office.

However, since learning more about BFTH, cleaning out my closet this time took on a whole new meaning. When I looked at my entire wardrobe that Saturday, I immediately decided to separate it into two categories – The main one for BFTH, and the smaller one for Goodwill.

As I went through each item, I kept thinking, “If I were homeless, what would I appreciate receiving?”

I also went into my bathroom and gathered all the travel-sized toiletry items I could find. I also threw in extra, unopened, pads and tampons for the girls/women.

After the wardrobe clean-up, this was the stack of donations. I've since added to it.

After the initial wardrobe clean-up, this was the stack of donations. I’ve since added to it.

I’m very much looking forward to the day when I load up my trunk and make my way to Virginia Beach to help Mariah and her ongoing mission – Hopefully soon.

When that does happen, I’ll be sure to publish a follow-up post!

Next, I wanted to share what the state of Utah has been doing about their homeless population and housing.

Here’s one of the best summaries I could find:

In eight years, Utah has reduced homelessness by 78%, and is on track to end homelessness by 2015.

How did Utah accomplish this? Simple. Utah solved homelessness by giving people homes. In 2005, Utah figured out that the annual cost of E.R. visits and jail stays for homeless people was about $16,670 per person, compared to $11,000 to provide each homeless person with an apartment and a social worker.

So, the state began giving away apartments, with no strings attached. Each participant in Utah’s Housing First program also gets a caseworker to help them become self-sufficient, but they keep the apartment even if they fail.

The program has been so successful that other states are hoping to achieve similar results with programs modeled on Utah’s.

via Nation of Change

(Posted by Conspiracy Theory With Jesse Ventura – January 20, 2014)

Whoa. That’s powerful!

Here’s a few hot links as well:

This is inspiring. I hope Utah’s example will spread!

Another group that struggles with homelessness is our military veterans.

This is both sad and maddening at the same time.

These men and women have served our country proudly. The last thing that they should struggle with is affordable housing, on their home soil!!

“We have an epidemic of homeless veterans on our nation’s streets. Over 100,000 brave men and women just lost in the shuffle.” ~Mac Taylor, CSI: NY

TODAY.com recently featured an article on helping homeless vets with socks.

The smallest items, like socks, can easily be overlooked when people think about the homeless.

When I was going through my wardrobe, I took time to count the pairs of socks I owned. I was immediately ashamed – I lost count at 30 pairs! I vowed then and there to include clean socks in my donations, to both BFTH and Goodwill.

The best thing about BFTH is they help everyone – Men, women, children, and even pets!

Another topic that’s come up regarding the homeless is the sheer number of abandoned houses. The city of Detroit comes to mind almost immediately, with numerous stories of the amount of houses, and the city auctioning them off for $1.00 so long as the winner fixes it up, and so on.

But it’s not just Detroit. There are abandoned houses in every town, city, county in this vast country of ours. Something needs to be done.

In my opinion, everyone needs to work together to rescue these houses and turn them into something positive. It would spread positive vibes in so many ways, I think.

If people came together and worked together to clean up these houses and make them livable, a homeless person or a homeless family could have a home again. With a home, they would be able to start their life or lives over. The thought of owning a home is still a dream to so many people.

I think of Habitat for Humanity. My parents used to volunteer with the local South Hampton Roads chapter – Our family and others from church helped build several houses in the early ’90s in some of the neediest areas of Portsmouth.

When Al and I get our first house, I plan to visit the local Habitat Re-Store to see what they have to offer. All the money from the stores go back to helping people and families build their own homes!

Two weeks ago, the story of Hailey Fort, from Washington state, went viral.

This girl, all of nine-years-old, has been an activist for the homeless since she was five. She’s made it her goal to build portable shelters AND grow food for these people.

Amazing!

Another story came out in April, from Denver, Colorado – The story of The Purple Door coffee shop.

The title of this story says a lot: “Coffee shop takes girl from homelessness to happiness.”

Toward the end of May, Steve Hartman on CBS profiled a man in San Francisco, helping with his sewing machine. I love Steve’s stories. This one – It’s mending people’s clothes, impressions, and hearts.

So, you may be asking at this point, “How can I help? What can I do?”

It’s overwhelming, really.

Here are my thoughts:

  • Adopt the thought: “If I were in this situation, what would I like to receive?”
  • Donate food to your local food pantry. My church does a weekly distribution, and there are so many families that receive assistance this way.
  • Volunteer with Panera Bread’s Operation Dough-Nation program.
  • Learn more about Habitat for Humanity.
  • Educate yourself about the community/communities around you. Unfortunately, right now, homelessness is never far away.
  • As Mariah says, “We are also asking that everyone make a ‘Blessing Box’ to keep in their car with five non-perishable lunches, blankets, and as the weather gets colder, hats and gloves to be able to immediately help someone in need. You can make a difference! We all can!”
  • Any amount of money certainly helps, but sometimes, the littlest items are far better.
  • Be the change! Be proactive. If everyone gave the tiniest bit of effort and time, this world would greatly improve.

Bottom line: Get involved! No effort is too small.

Also, it’s never too early to teach your children about the powers of giving, either.

Until the next headline, Laura Beth 🙂