Commentary #100: “What Mum Taught Me” – Boundaries

Image Credit: Psych Central

This post originated from a friend’s Facebook post. I found it on Thursday, October 24, 2019. A. saw it and felt compelled to share.

It was originally shared on Facebook by Leslie Gaar, Writer on October 10, 2018.

The photos / screenshots come from Erynn Brook’s Twitter account. I encourage everyone to read it in its entirety.

I read Erynn’s story. And re-read it. And I’ve been coming back to it nearly every day since stumbling upon it on October 24th.

One thing is for sure: Boundaries are hard. Setting boundaries is even harder. But, at 31, I feel much more at peace with myself because of the boundaries I have set for myself. Many of them are unspoken, for me and myself only, but there are others that I make known, loud and clear.

Why? Unlike Erynn’s awesome mom, I was taught to stick it out. To not quit. To not leave. To not ruin anything.

And I’m now realizing how damaging that is.

I understand why, in a way – My parents are of a different generation. Overall, I think they did a good job of raising me. I know, as an only child and born severely premature, they sheltered me and protected me fiercely.

But, I don’t want to raise my future child or children like my parents did. I want to do some things differently.

Like Erynn’s mom, I want my child or children to have choices, to feel like it’s normal to come to Al or me with anything at any time, to not feel like they are bothering us, to express their discomfort openly. And Al and I both agree that if our child or children call or text at any time, asking to come home, we will come immediately, no questions asked.

Two of my family members have this rule with their daughter – Call us at any time, and we will come get you. There won’t be any questions when we pick you up. There may be questions in the morning / after whatever happened, but there won’t be any questions from us at the time we come get you.

What do you think about this? Let me know in the comments.

Until the next headline, Laura Beth 🙂

12 thoughts on “Commentary #100: “What Mum Taught Me” – Boundaries

  1. Wow I really love this message. I realize how much growing up has empowered me to do what I want and what makes me feel comfortable. Last year I just up and left my husband at a friend’s Christmas party because I was uncomfortable and he was having fun. I realized I married the right guy when he said “ok that sounds like you made the right decision.”
    He didn’t judge me for not wanting to be around grown up bullies and step ford wives. I really hope that I can instill this in my child.
    Amazing post!

  2. Wow!! This really puts things into perspective!! ❤ ❤ A very good lesson, and one I needed to hear! Thank you so much for sharing!!

  3. Reblogged this on Writing Radiation and commented:
    This is so on-point. I’m glad that Laura posted this now – it really applies to a situation I’m grappling with at the moment.

  4. A great reminder, thank you. So many of us not only put up, we let ourselves acclimitize to a negative situation.

  5. This is so on-point. Only recently have I been learning to both establish and enforce boundaries for myself, and it is so important for us to remember that it’s not only okay but healthy to establish personal boundaries.

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