I’ve been struggling this month, big time.
Maybe it’s the weather? Here in Virginia, it’s been very mild for January. There have been several days where it’s been above 65 degrees. Now, in the middle of the month, it’s settling back down to chilly and cold. It’s been hovering around 40-45 degrees in the last few days.
I feel like a big failure. I set so many goals at the beginning of the month, and I feel like I’ve already failed all of them.
I mean, how hard is it to write two blog posts a week? But, every night since January 2nd, especially work nights, I’ve come home and not wanted to look at another computer screen. But, at the same time, I’ve watched hours of TV with Al, and buried my nose in Facebook on my phone or games on my iPad. It’s like my brain went into default decompression every night.
I didn’t look at my emails for at least a week, and there were more than 1,000 by the weekend after New Year’s.
And I feel really bad even writing this out – I have NOTHING to complain about. I have my husband and my dogs. I’m not running on fragmented sleep like many I know – Parents, caregivers, those with chronic illnesses, and others. I have it easy.
I know this is part of my anxiety lying to me, but I feel a bit better now getting it out on “paper.”
Writing this short post has actually helped a lot, believe it or not. This is part of the reason why I write. I “brain dump” – I talk it out, I use Post-It Notes at work, and I have my phone close by to use the Notes app. I think getting back into journaling – Actual handwriting – is a good goal for February. I’m involved with enough screens as it is.
In fact, after I finish this post, I’m shutting off all the screens and going to dive back into Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban!
Until the next headline, Laura Beth 🙂
Hot Shot Headlines 
Don’t beat yourself up. We all have those moments. My house cleaning gets terribly behind sometimes because I just dont have the energy after work. The stress from work can be so physically &mentally draining. I have learned that it’s my body’s way of teeling me to relax. There is no shame in not achieving the goals you set, they’ll be there waiting whenever you’re ready. 😊 And dont compare your situation to others. You may not have the same situations they do or the same stressors even, but that doesn’t make your situation any less stressful. Adulting is hard! Holding a full time job, taking care of a house, two fur babies, & being a wife are all things that take energy, so it’s completely understandable that sometimes you need YOU time! Enjoy it!!
You’re amazing. Thank you for chiming in. We’re all our own worst critic, right? It’s so hard to let go sometimes. Adulting is hard, you’re absolutely right about that. Hugs to you!
Yes, we are! Always happy to remind you, lord knows how many times you’ve reminded me!! ❤ Big hugs!!
Ditto!
I know how you feel… I’ve been dealing with a lot of this kind of stuff lately too. It seems like I keep getting more work piled on me at work without the extra pay to go along with it. I’m also spending a couple hours after work each night scrolling through social media and blogs (which is sometimes followed by more work until it’s time for bed), and I’ve been trying to be more social. I’m going to have to make some very difficult decisions about what I do and don’t have time for. This week, I purposely stayed home from one of the weekly game nights I go to sometimes, even though I didn’t have anything conflicting on my schedule; I just knew I was going to need more time to myself this weekend. I’ve also had season tickets to “Capital City Royals” basketball (that’s the name I’ve used in my writing for this team) for the last seven years, and I have a week to decide whether or not to renew for next season. I’m leaning toward no, because while in the past, going to games has been a good way to catch up with friends, this year I’m just too busy, and I get too emotionally wrapped up in games that don’t go well sometimes. I also only went to three “Jeromeville Colts” football games this fall, whereas in past years I would try to make all five or six home games.
When I started writing this blog a year ago, I told myself I wasn’t going to keep a schedule or stress myself out, so if I need to take a break from writing, I will, but I’ve really enjoyed my writing and all the interesting conversations and reflections that have come from it.
That’s just life. I can’t do everything. Maybe I’ll get season tickets again when I’m retired.
Thanks for commenting! I’ve learned, over many years, that “No” is a complete sentence. The hard part is not feeling guilty or whatever emotion comes with saying no. I cut back on several groups and activities a few years ago, and that helped. Hugs to you!
Thanks!
You’re welcome!